You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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