we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
