Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
