I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
