Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
birth control should be required to get into college
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
