My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
