stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
