'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have feelings that need drinking.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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