11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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