I think my vagina is haunted
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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