she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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