You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
