hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
