Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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