i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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