you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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