I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize