Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
