I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
