I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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