WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
