i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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