Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
