My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
