I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
