You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
All I want is dick and wine.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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