I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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