How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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