is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
