Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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