I'm lost and stupid without you.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
