Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
