My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
