Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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