i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
