Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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