u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
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I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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