Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
only you would photoshop your dick
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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