I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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