you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
