Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That accounts for only three of the penises
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
