the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
