Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
