My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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