somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
