I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
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She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
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one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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