Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
