Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
