left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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