Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
