Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
