just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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