You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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