Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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