How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
don't judge my taste in strippers
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
