just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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