so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
