I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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