Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
